On Saturday 14th of May between the hours of 13.00 and 15.30 my uncle Thomas Deegan passed away. He was 50 years old, lived on his own and worked in the Dublin Fire Brigade for most of his working life. Thomas had an extraordinarily ordinary life. Ordinary in that he, like most people, just got on with life. Went to work, paid his bills, spent time with his family, watched
Casualty on Saturday nights and liked going to the pub for a few drinks. What was extraordinary was that while leading a "normal" life Thomas also fought two of life's most debilitating and deadly illnesses. Thomas battled with depression for much of his adult life. In his forties he then took on two horrendous forms of cancer - leukemia and then lymphoma -and won.
Thomas was very sociable and well liked. The massive crowd at his funeral and some of the comments posted on a facebook condolences page are testament to this. Looking over some of his photographs of years gone by you get a comforting sense that Thomas had some really enjoyable moments in life. However, I think in many ways and especially since his late twenties, Thomas led a sad life. Not only because he had depression but because he was lonely and felt disconnected from this world and who he was in day to day life. In one of his last conversations with my father he was regretting how he ended a past romance and said that all he ever wanted was a companion.
Thomas took his own life. Maybe it was all too difficult, maybe it just got too much, maybe he thought his life was getting slowly and steadily worse so what was the point any more. I really empathise with him and feel more connected to him in his passing than I ever did in real life interactions. That's the sad thing, I never gave much time to thinking about my uncle or trying to get to know him on a real level. I always assumed he'd be there. He was a battler, a fire fighter as my mother shouted at him when we found him in his house that Saturday. He's gone and knowing what he must have went through in his final few hours just breaks my heart. He has passed and there's no way back. Makes you realise just how fragile life is. Makes you realise how precious people are and re-evaluate how you interact with those close to you.
Every suicide can be prevented. Every one. Suicide occurs at the lowest point in that person's life. If family and friends recognise
symptoms then they need to organise a swift intervention and arrange for professional care. If you start to feel seriously low, begin self-harming and even just contemplating suicide then say it to a friend, family member or GP immediately. It will pass. Life will get better.
Photo tribute compiled by my brother, Paul Kinsella.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt59Fqu7uhQ
